Updates and musings from one momma nurse

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Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Beware the Just-Waiters

"Just wait..."

Do you have any Just-Waiters in your life? Perhaps you yourself are a Just-Waiter? Let me explain. Here's how typical conversations with Just-Waiters go:

You: "Gosh, being big and pregnant is no good for my sleep. Couldn't get comfortable last night, and was up six times to use the bathroom. I'm awfully tired today."
JW: "Ooh, just wait until that baby gets here! You won't be sleeping well for the next three years!"

You: "I sure am struggling with my two year old. His tantrums are epic!"
JW: "Just wait! Three is worse than two!"

You: "Man, my four year old is sassy."
JW: "Just wait till she's a teenager! You'll wish she was four again!"

You: "High school is hard! These tests are brutal, and my teacher is no help."
JW: "Just wait! College is way harder than high school!"

STOP.

If someone has trusted you enough to share a struggle, please validate it! Do not make them feel worse by saying that more difficult struggles are ahead. That is in no way helpful!

Better response?

How about, "I'm sorry you're struggling. I brought you your favorite hot beverage. You are an amazing human, and you're doing a fantastic job at life. How can I help?"