Fun with Delirium

You know it's going to be a fun day at work when you assess your patients and realize that only one out the five can tell you where he/she is.

Some of my favorite exchanges:
Me: Do you know where you are right now?
Patient 1: I have no idea.

Patient 2: Did you work on the highway last summer, too?
Me: No, last summer I worked here as a nurse, just like I am right now.

Me: Your dressing is off again. That needs to stay on so your wound can heal.
Patient 3: Are you saying I'm doing that?

I come in to find Patient 4 out of bed, standing sans-gown in the corner of the room.
Me: Why are you out of bed? No weight on that leg, remember?
Pt 4: You need to call my parole officer.

Pt 2 again: How long have you worked at (local grocery store)?